Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Time Has Come

The last 4 weeks have gone by so fast that it seems like just a couple of days ago that we met with the neurosurgeon and scheduled the surgery.  I am at peace, I know that this surgery is my only hope of feeling better and taking my life back from Chiari, but the fear has also set in.  Sometimes when we work in the medical field we know too much, we know the ins and outs of the surgery and inner workings of the hospital, we know the risks and complications, and we know the horror stories.  I have convinced myself that I WILL be a success story and I WILL have a perfect road and a perfect recovery, but the reality of what could happen breaks through my confidence ever so often.  I know that I will not return to life as I knew it, but I have high hopes and every intention of returning to as much of life as possible and not looking back!  All of the arrangements are made, the special pillows purchased, the legal papers filed, the tests performed, and in 12 hours I will be leaving to go to the hospital for my Zipperhead Day.
My parents and twin sister, boyfriend and other friends will join me at the hospital tomorrow, as well as many others who will be with me in spirit.  Bouga will attend school as normal tomorrow and then spend the weekend with his other grandparents.  At this time, he only knows that I am sick and it is not the kind of sick that you can just take medicine for and I will get better.  He knows I must go to the hospital and spend some time with my doctors so that I can get better, but he knows nothing of the surgery or that it involves my brain.  Afterwards, when I have come through surgery without a hitch and we can show him my incision and show him that I am ok, we will explain to him what I have gone through.  Until he can physically see that I am ok, it is pointless to explain anything to him, as he will only fixate and stress and he doesn't need to do that.  Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated for my family as they sit through the day tomorrow while I lay oblivious to the world in the operating room, and for Bouga as everyone else attempts to keep his life as normal as possible in the coming days.
 I am unsure of when I will feel up to a full blog update, so please join us on the CaringBridge site today and over the coming days as we will post surgery updates and treatment happenings, and my hospital room location for anyone who would like to visit.  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jennachristine

God Bless,
Jenna

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